The truth about the Mickey Mouse Club

Here is one of the greatest things I have ever seen: a fantastic article explaining the “wild” behavior of the “top pop stars” as the consequence of Satanic Ritual Abuse perpetrated by the Illuminati.

The Illuminati become very tired after planning all historical events and plotting for the creation of a tyrannical world government, so they need to unwind at the end of the day with some underage sex slaves. The best way to mass-produce sex slaves, of course, is to encourage all parents to be pedophiles and molest their children in grand Satanic rituals. One expert in this process was the “bastard child” Walt Disney, who worked his magic on Britney, Christina and Justin Timberlake, in the mind control program known as the Mickey Mouse Club.

Another culturally relevant exploration of the same themes can be found in the explanations available online of what is surely the greatest Stanley Kubrick film, Eyes Wide Shut. This film is probably the only one I know of that executes a plot twist effectively, simply by refusing to decide whether or not the puzzle we see belongs to objective reality or the interior psychology of its major character.

Eyes Wide Shut, unlike the Mickey Mouse Club, does explicitly depict an elite society of perverts who participate in occult rituals and seem to control everything. The allusions described by armchair political theorists to the actual practices of the Illuminati no doubt have some correlation to real secret societies that must involve the rich and powerful.

But what is interesting is why people feel it is necessary to construct these complex explanations of random events that occur in a random reality. Fredric Jameson approaches conspiracy as a form of totality, a way of constructing a “map” of a reality that just doesn’t make sense. We live in a democratic, free society, so why did we have a CIA mind control program called MKULTRA in the 1950s and 1960s in which unwitting experimental subjects were dosed with LSD, various drugs were used on human subjects in dangerous ways (for example, combining uppers and downers in combinations that have probably killed many rock stars), and which had the ultimate goal of brainwashing and controlling the minds of citizens?

Why are there political assassinations? Why are there secret bombing campaigns? Why are all of the people in the government rich? Why are there industrial poisons in my chicken McNugget? This is America, the land of the free.

One explanation is that all of these strange things happen because a secret society of perverts wants to take over America and use its military to create a totalitarian world government. Another explanation is that extraterrestrials want to colonize the earth and are acting in cooperation with unscrupulous humans who want to avoid being probed like the rest of us.

Considering what an irrational reality we live in, these are actually fairly reasonable explanations. Especially when explanations that could really explain what’s going on—American democracy is a class society, in which the great masses of people are exploited and must be kept from understanding this reality and acting on it—are forbidden.

The real question is: why do we feel an overwhelming need to rationalize the fairly tame behavior of irresponsible young people who get too much attention? Perhaps celebrities are just our replacements for artists, who were really just replacements for prophets: people who are allowed to be crazy so that we can stay normal. Let's please get over this and start acting crazy like we should. Conspiracy theories are probably a good step in this direction.

Here's an awesome video that claims to show us the way that The Wizard of Oz is used as a mind control tool. This guy can't get over the pyramids...